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Mitchell Osmond on Helping Career-Driven Men Reclaim Their Marriage, Health & Life

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Show Summary

Mitchell Osmond joins Michelle Kesil on the Real Estate Pros Podcast to discuss helping high-performing men reclaim balance in their home, health, and happiness. He shares his personal story of overcoming debt, weight gain, and marital struggles, and how he now coaches men to build strong relationships, improve health, and cultivate happiness. He provides actionable strategies, exercises, and tools like the Connection Code to help men succeed personally while thriving professionally.

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    Investor Fuel Show Transcript:

    Mitchell (00:00)
    The turning point for me was I went to a funeral seven days later and I was a professional musician as well. And so I was asked to sing at this funeral, this very wealthy man. It was about 2,000 people in the room. And as he began, as the minister began wrapping up the story about this man and the life that he had lived, I was getting ready to sing the closing song, Side Stage. And he asked the congregation a question. He said, are you living a life worthy of imitation?

    Michelle Kesil (01:56)
    Hey everybody, welcome to the Real Estate Pros podcast. I’m your host, Michelle Kesil. Today I’m joined by someone I’m looking forward to chatting with, Mitchell Osmond, who helps entrepreneurs who are career driven reclaim their home, health, and happiness. So excited to have you here today, Mitchell.

    Mitchell (02:18)
    Thank you, Michelle. That’s gonna be a great conversation and I’m excited to be here today.

    Michelle Kesil (02:23)
    Awesome, let’s dive in then. So first off, those not yet familiar with you and your work, can you share what your main focus is?

    Mitchell (02:31)
    Yeah, no, thank you for asking and you kind of alluded to it in the intro. I’m a career driven coach. I work with high performing men, particularly ones who have seen success in business, seen success in their professional life, but maybe are resting a little bit in their personal life. You know and the three things that we focus on are, like I said, your home, your health, your happiness. And so when you talk about, when we talk about your home, really what we’re talking about is your key relationships.

    your relationship with your wife and your relationship with your children. You know your health is all about, you know, your diet and nutrition, exercise, because if your body isn’t healthy, you’re not much good to your family or the company you serve or your, know, whoever. And then the happiness piece is really about mindset. A lot of my clients have very high stress positions, ⁓ managing multiple projects and different things. so ⁓ managing your emotions, whether it’s dealing with ⁓

    frustration, anger, anxiety, know, whatever or even just like dealing with the self-sabotage or imposter syndrome or just different things like that to help men win both at home as much as they win at work and And so that’s a little bit about who I serve and I do that through three different ways ⁓ I have the content which is I’m predominantly active on Instagram, but also the podcast which is called the dad nation podcast

    And then the community of men that I have is called the high performance husband, where like minded men get together and we talk about these different things and we hold each other high when we struggle and celebrate the wins and all those different things. And then the third one is coaching. And that’s where I work with men in group settings or one to one, but that’s the three things, content, community and coaching. So hopefully that answered a little bit about who I serve and what I do.

    Michelle Kesil (04:24)
    definitely and so I’m sure you have your own personal story of like what brought you into this work like what is like that thing that got you started in this

    Mitchell (04:34)
    Yeah, that’s a great question. Michelle, thanks for asking. And I think it’s important to share that because I think a lot of people make the mistake of hearing someone talking to podcasts and thinking that they got it all together, right? That they never really had it difficult. ⁓ But let me be the first to say, I learned all my lessons the hardest way possible. ⁓ I would love to say that I turned my life around because of sheer wisdom. That was not the case. So.

    My little bit of my story, and I’ll say this as quickly as I can, but I had always been in positions of leadership. And it made sense to me. Business was easy. I could lead meetings, cast vision, you know, whatever, grow businesses. But I found myself about three years into marriage, really struggling. I got let go of a leadership position that I was in. My life started to spiral. And just in a few months, I was 60 pounds overweight. I was 100 grand in debt.

    And I was on the verge of divorce like me and my wife had a huge fight one day in our living room sitting on the couch and it was like It’s now or never like this. This might very well be over and so You know the days leading up after that fight ⁓ You know, I was coming home after you know, putting out resumes and doing interviews and I was thinking is this the day that the ring is on the counter You know where she won’t be there

    The turning point for me was I went to a funeral seven days later and I was a professional musician as well. And so I was asked to sing at this funeral, this very wealthy man. It was about 2,000 people in the room. And as he began, as the minister began wrapping up the story about this man and the life that he had lived, I was getting ready to sing the closing song, Side Stage. And he asked the congregation a question. He said, are you living a life worthy of imitation?

    If you were to die today, would you be proud of the legacy that you left?

    And Michelle, for me, sitting side stage, getting ready to sing the song, I could barely choke out the lyrics because all I could think was, as I was looking at the casket of this other man, thinking, boy, if this was my funeral, nobody would be wanting to imitate my life. Not my marriage, not my bank account, not my anything, my health. And so that day I went home and I said, I’m putting a stake in the ground. I’m going to die to everything and anything I need to in order to become the man that my wife deserves and my family deserves. And then within 18 months, I,

    Completely paid off the 100 grand of debt, completely restored our marriage, lost the 60 pounds, built a lean, strong body, and then became free of substances, distractions, all that stuff. And then over the next five, six years, I began to help friends of mine, you know, for free. And then one of my mentors at the time challenged me. And he said, man, if you really want to live a life worthy of imitation, you need to take this mess and turn it into a message. I’m start a podcast and share your story with the world. And so I did that two years ago.

    And, and ever since then, you know, eventually I launched my coaching practice, which became pretty successful pretty quickly because of the fact that I’m just super raw and open and honest. ⁓ I helped the man I used to be. I’m a big fan of Ed Mylett and he’ll often say, you are most qualified to help the person you used to be. And that’s who I serve today. And so that’s my story.

    Michelle Kesil (08:26)
    Awesome. ⁓ And maybe like to break things down into those three categories, like what are some of the ways that you’ve helped yourself and others in the home, the health and the happiness.

    Mitchell (08:39)
    Yeah.

    Yeah, for sure. I know in a 20 minute episode, we’re not going to even scratch the surface of, you know, all those different things. And so if I could say one thing, you know, a starting point for every and any man who’s listening today, I think it’s so important to begin with the end in mind. Right. So when you think about, ⁓ well, for example, Stephen Covey in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Chapter two is called, Begin with the End in Mind. Napoleon Hill, which is one of the greatest thought leaders of

    Michelle Kesil (08:44)
    Bye.

    Mitchell (09:07)
    You know of our time said begin with the end in mind. He always talked about that my funeral moment When I realized the legacy that I was leaving was was literally me beginning with the end in mind thinking about where’s my life headed and so for me and what i’ve observed with men is there is a ⁓ there is a clear distinguishing thing between the man that you are today and the man that you know, you could be and

    A lot of these guys have seen success and they’ve made the money and they’ve done all that and they’ve realized that that’s not it. And so there is this tension. The tension between who you are and who you want to be, that’s where the anxiety, that’s where the frustration lies. And so the question, so what I do is I’ll start with my clients with leading them through a eulogy exercise. And it’s very visceral, it’s very emotional. It’s like if you were to die today,

    I want you to write your eulogy from the perspective of your wife or your children. What would they say about you as they stood over your casket today? What would they about the life that you lived, the people you served, how you contributed? And then if you were 100 % the man that you knew you could be, if you had a great marriage and a great relationship with your kids and you were known for a man who served his community and was passionate, let’s write that version 2.0 of your eulogy and have that conversation. What would they say then?

    Right another question I’ll ask people is say and it you know, know for simplicity sake I’ll ask you Michelle Is this I just call it the three-year quest three-year question It goes like this if you and I you and I were to bump into each other three years from now in San Airport And I’d say hey Michelle, how you doing? It’s been for it’s been three years since I’ve been on the show And if you were to say to me Mitchell these past three years have been the best years of my life

    The question is, what would have to be true about the last three years for them to be the best three years of your life? And what we do is we take that and we break it down into simple things like where are you working? Where are you, you know, what’s your relationship with your wife? What’s your relationship with your kids? What do you do for fun? What are you driving? Where do your kids go to school? You know, all those different things. And then we reverse engineer. We begin with the end in mind. And we say, what’s the dream? And then we

    take those three-year vision and we reverse-engineered into ⁓ yearly strategies and then break it down to monthly strategies. Because if we don’t know where we’re going, I mean, we’re just never gonna get there, right? If we don’t have a clear vision, I’m sure you understand that. And so that would be my challenge to anyone listening today is when was the last time you thought about ⁓ three years from now? Because we know that statistically speaking,

    Our lives today are the result of the decisions we’ve been making over the past three to five years. So Michelle, when I think about where I was in 2020, 2022, the decisions that I was making, it makes complete sense as to why I’m here today. Now, if I like where I’m at, if you like where you’re at, keep making those same decisions. But if you don’t like where you’re at and you want to grow, then you must learn how to make different decisions or learn how to think differently.

    Otherwise we’re gonna end up in the same position as we were three to five in three three to five years from now and that’s because we get caught in cycles because Neurologists would confirm that use use on average 95 % of the decisions you make every day are the same as the decisions you made yesterday So only 5 % of the decisions that we make are conscious decisions And so we live the vast majority of our lives on autopilot. That’s why we wake up a year later and things look the same

    And so that would probably be the first place I would start because that translates into your marriage, that translates into your fatherhood, that translates into your fitness and how do you take care of your body, how you take care of your emotions and how you run your business, all that stuff. Does that make sense?

    Michelle Kesil (13:46)
    Yeah, absolutely. And so who are kind of like the ideal clients because you said they’re usually entrepreneurs and high achievers. So do they have like the business thing down and it’s just the other areas that they’re maybe struggling more in?

    Mitchell (14:03)
    Yeah, I’ve got a few clients who call me the executive whisperer. I’m not the guy who’s gonna teach you how to build your business. Yes, have I done that for sure, but I’m not a business coach. I’m a man who coaches business, But in his personal life, not really professional. It’s more of like, yeah, you’re winning at work and you’re doing great, but you’re not winning at home, so let’s help you do that. What does that look like for you? To be as successful, to be…

    To have your wife and your children look up to you with pride, you know of the man that you’ve become to have your wife ⁓ Respect admire and desire you you know to have to increase attraction to increase connection all those different things And so that you could put your head on the pillow at night with peace Knowing that you’re both the same at work as you are at home That you have a successful career and you also have a wife who’s so happy and children who know you and love you

    You know what I mean? So that’s the kind of man that I serve.

    Michelle Kesil (15:45)
    Awesome. And so what are maybe some of the tools that you would give to these men? So like maybe someone listening can implement something.

    Mitchell (15:56)
    Yeah, for sure. I’ll give you a free gift if you’re okay with that. I’m gonna give your listeners a free gift. And before I do that, let me give you some statistics. The reason why I got into this work was because I almost lost my marriage. But when I started to study divorce statistics, it blew my mind. So we know in the US today, up to 70 % of divorces are initiated by the women in the relationship. Now in situations where the wife is a high earner or has a high degree of education,

    Michelle Kesil (16:00)
    Yeah.

    Mitchell (16:25)
    That number actually jumps to 90%. Nine out of, so in some situations, nine out of every 10 divorces are initiated by the women in the relationship. Now when you dig into that data even more, of those divorces, 80 % of the time, the main reason cited for the divorce is not cheating, it’s not abuse, it’s not money, sex, kids, all the things that people think it is. It’s emotional disconnection. It’s, I don’t feel like a priority. I don’t feel like my feelings matter. I feel like I’m married a robot.

    And so why is that important? Because that’s a huge red flag. And we also know that men typically are not that emotionally intelligent compared to their wives. We know the feminine women are very emotionally driven and intelligent. And so what do I do? I equip men with those tools to connect with their wife on an emotional level so that they can have a healthy and happy marriage. How do I do that? There’s a lot of different ways, but the simplest thing I can do is give you this tool.

    which is called the connection code. And it’s simple. It’s 50 questions that are strategically designed to spark the fun and get the fire back in your relationship. And these 50 questions cover everything from your passion, from your dreams, everyday life to intimacy, like everything. And all I tell guys is like, hey, whether it’s you take a read on a date and you pull three or four questions off the page, or you maybe,

    Put the kids down, pour up a glass of wine, and just pull some questions out of the document and ask her. And I’m telling you, Michelle, I’ll regularly get women who contact me, email me, like, who was that man, you know, that took me out last night? They’re just, like, thrilled. Because that’s exactly what the thing does, is it teaches you how. It gives you the language. Because someone, us men struggle. We feel a lot, but we don’t know how to communicate it. And there’s a lot of reasons for that. If we had more time, we could get into. yeah, so if you go to Connection Code, or

    dadnationcode.com forward slash code and I’ll give you the links to put it in the show notes if you don’t mind. You can just download it for free and it’ll be my gift to you as a way of saying thank you for listening today.

    Michelle Kesil (18:36)
    Awesome. Yeah, I love that. I can definitely attest to that being true in my experiences as well. So I love that you’re helping them through that process.

    Mitchell (18:41)
    Right?

    Yeah, and you know what, Michelle, it is what it is, right? Like, psychologists have coined the term normative male alexithymia. Now that’s a bit of a mouthful, but really what that means is the word alexithymia, broken down from the Greek, means alexis thymos, which means literally translated without words for emotion. So if you put the whole phrase together, normative male alexithymia means it’s normal for males to be without words for their emotions.

    And so this is recognized in psychological circles everywhere. And so I just tell people all the time, listen, your wiring may explain you, but it doesn’t necessarily excuse you. We’re living in a time where we have tools. And relationships don’t look like they did in the 50s. So we have to evolve. your usage, you can attest, you can resonate. Yes, almost every single woman I’ve ever met can resonate with that my wife is the same thing. And so it’s normal. And that’s fine.

    But let’s do what we can to equip one another so that doesn’t have to be that

    Michelle Kesil (19:54)
    Yeah, absolutely. And what do you say? Like these high achieving men have the awareness that these challenges are happening or they almost have to be shown, like hit kind of a breaking point or rock bottom moment that this is happening. That makes sense.

    Mitchell (20:11)
    Yeah, no, it’s pretty ironic because I work with some of the smartest people, some of the most successful people. And again, because the emotional intelligence isn’t quite there like the business intelligence or so many other things. No, there’s not a lot of awareness. And unfortunately, 90 % of the men that I end up working with come from a situation where they had a bit of a wake up moment, where they woke up and their wife was saying, I’m not happy anymore. I’m not connected to you. We feel like roommates sharing rings.

    And so the other % are the men who sense the drift and they take action quickly. Which I love those guys because it’s a lot easier, right? But that’s the thing, ⁓ this happens often because us as men, again, and we could get into the masculine piece if we had more time, but the masculine is really driven by production, by ⁓ excellence, by being on mission, by, ⁓ you know, we build and we love that.

    We’re fixers and we’re great at it that’s good and that’s a great thing. But what happens is we do that for eight, 10, 12 hours a day and we get paid very well to do it. And we come home and we have a conversation with our wife who is an emotional being and she starts talking about how she had a fight with her kids or her mother or sister and all of a sudden what do we do? We start fixing and giving solutions because that’s what we’re so good at, right?

    And then the wife says, I don’t need you to fix it. I don’t need you to bring me solutions, just listen. Just be present. And they have no idea what that means. And so that’s a lot of the work that I do. But yeah, I mean, I would say a vast majority of us as men don’t get it until they have a wake up moment. And that’s when we really get to work.

    Michelle Kesil (22:01)
    Yeah, absolutely. That makes sense. And amazing that you’re able to support men that are ready to dive into all of those aspects and do the work to heal.

    Mitchell (22:15)
    Hmm. Thank you Michelle and and one quick thing I’ll mention this as well as what a lot of guys don’t realize Is that the same skills that make them so successful at work? Are the same skills that are kind of sabotaging things at home because like I just pointed out They’re fixers. They’re solvers. They’re builders, but your wife you kids don’t need that. They don’t care about that They don’t care about the contract you closed. They don’t care about how revenue was up over the last quarter What they care about is is he here? You see is he?

    Do I have his eyes? And I say to men all time, be where your feet are. Be in the room. They don’t care about any other things. And so we think, well, I can be successful there. People listen to me at work. I have great relationship with my colleagues. So I must not be the problem, right? It must be her or it must be the kids. And so they get confused. But they’re treating their relationship with their wife or their kids like the business relationship, which is an entirely different demographic.

    and with entirely different motivators and drivers. So it’s very common. And the same rules don’t apply at home. And you just need to learn new rules.

    Michelle Kesil (23:23)
    Yeah, absolutely love that. So before we wrap up here, if someone wants to reach out, connect and learn more, where can people find you and connect with you?

    Mitchell (23:33)
    Thank you for asking Michelle. I appreciate it. Honestly, you can download that connection code if you want. mean, that’s a great tool. A couple things, you know, I’ve got the Dad Nation podcast. If you want to get an idea about how, you know, my teaching style and how I coach and all those things. I do a lot of solo teaching. I also bring in lot of incredible high level guests. We talk about everything that would challenge a man, husband, and father today. And so you could check that out if you’re interested in just hearing more of that.

    But if you want to take a step deeper and you really want to take action If what you’ve heard today is resonated with you and you could see yourself in this story and we happen to have a conversation about what it might look like to start a relationship together where I can help you, know level up in your marriage and you do all the things we just discussed and If that’s the case then I can give you the link to the to the package was just called a high-performance husband And it’s an accelerator program. It’s 12 months where guys go go to battle man We go arm-in-arm and we lift each other up and we’d see

    pretty incredible results. ⁓ So yeah, those are the ways.

    Michelle Kesil (24:34)
    Perfect. I will appreciate your time and your story. Thank you for being here.

    Mitchell (24:38)
    Thank you, Michelle. It’s been a privilege and an honor to be here with you today. And I hope this episode resonates with your listeners.

    Michelle Kesil (24:45)
    Yeah, definitely. And for those that are tuning into the show, if you got value, make sure you’ve subscribed. We’ve got more conversations with operators like Mitchell who are building real businesses. We’ll see you on our next episode.

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