How Top Realtors Build Loyalty, Referrals, and Long-Term Success | Rob Commodari on Client Relationships

Rob Commodari (00:00)
As soon as I got fired, like Rob, instead of saying, well, it was me, instead of complaining about that customer. In that moment, I said, God, what can I be grateful for right now? Right now? What can I be grateful for? And so I just said a bunch of things or some things that I could be grateful for. And I kid you not Q, I sold 30 houses in the next 60 days.

Quentin (01:52)
Hello everyone. Welcome to the Real Estate Pros podcast. I am your host, Q Edmonds, and I’m excited to be here today. I have a fantastic guest. Listen, been doing this for 25 years. Loves serving people, loves staying in front of people. And I love that. Three C’s I want you to remember. Contact, care, community. I love this gentleman. I love his mindset. I love the way he thinks.

I’m so excited for him to be here and listen. Let’s just sit back and learn. So I want to introduce you all to, well, present this time, introduce the other, because some of y’all may remember him, Mr. Robert Commodari

Rob, how you doing today,

Rob Commodari (02:36)
Great, Q. Thank you so much for having me. It’s good to see your face again.

Quentin (02:38)
Absolutely.

Yeah, absolutely. Good to see you too, Rob. So glad you’re here. I really appreciate you being here. I appreciate your grace. I appreciate your spirit. And I know this is going to be a great pod. And so let’s dive right in. I would love for you to tell the people what your main focus is these days. Give us a little bit of an origin story, kind of how you got to the place you are. We love origin stories. And then tell them what part of the world you’re in. Geograph.

Y’all see the smile on my face. Some of y’all follow me. Y’all know why I’m smiling. Jesus, Lord. But again, wish you’re up to your origin story and where you are. Rob, you have the floor.

Rob Commodari (03:17)
Yeah, well, let’s

start where we are since you got everybody on the edge of their seat. Yeah, so I’m in Perry Hall, Maryland, just north of Baltimore. So, Q, smile so much because we’re pretty much like 40 minutes apart. There you go. So we got that out of the way. Yeah, so we’re pretty much neighbors. Pretty much neighbors. So yeah, thank you so much for having me. So the first question was where, my, the origin of how I got here?

Quentin (03:28)
Yeah, I love it. Got that out of the way. Absolutely. Yes, sir.

Well,

the first one, you can do whichever ⁓ order, what you’re up to in your origin story. So, but you can do either. Yes, yeah. What you’re up to in the business up and how you got there. Yeah.

Rob Commodari (03:46)
What are my up to in the business?

As you mentioned, I’m in my 25th year of this business and it has been all sunshine and roses. You go through your ups and downs, but right now I’m focusing on going deep with clients. Being in the business 25 years and selling 2,000 homes plus or minus, I’ve built a lot of relationships over the years. The tough part in this business is not

becoming a transactional realtor. You want to become a relational realtor. But to get people in the database, to get people in my community, initially you do cast a wide net and you got to keep casting wide and wide and wide and you have all these people. But at some point in time, and maybe you do, it’s maybe to both ends, but at some point in time you’ve really got to focus on going deeper with some of the people that you have.

And one of the things I’ve been coached to do is to every buyer that I’m working with, try to get two referrals from them in the process while we’re in process. And for every seller, trying to get one referral from them. So I’m really trying to focus

on the word is duplicating or duplicating my duplicating for my clients to duplicate them to get a referral. And that means

going deeper in conversation with the existing clients and the past, the recent past clients, because they’re the ones who are to have you more on top of their head. So that’s what I’m doing now these days. And I continue to stay in front of people. The other part, the origin of everything is 20. I got into business 24 plus years ago, almost 25 years ago. But about 23 years ago, I heard of this company, Buffinian Company, and that’s B is a boy, Buffinian Company. And they

coached me to do business by referral. I don’t, contrary to what a lot of people think that you have to do, and maybe I should do it, but I don’t, but I’m sure you can mix it in. I do not buy leads. I bought leads for six months over a 25 year period and I did it and I stopped. So I don’t buy leads. I worked the relational side of the business and I built it by referral. so the origin is I walked into an office one day after my first year in the business and grossing $41,000 and netting one.

realizing that I can’t make a living off of netting $1,000 a year in the real estate business, that I learned of this coaching company and I started doing business by referral. And that’s how I got into this successful side of the real estate, doing it by referral. But a year prior to that, my wife had become pregnant with our second child and I wanted her to be a stay-at-home mom. And I was working in the city part of Baltimore, Federal Hill, Locust Point, Pig Town, which I’m sure you’re familiar with, Q.

Quentin (07:20)
Yeah.

Rob Commodari (07:22)
I was doing another business. was doing newspaper business down there. had the Baltimore Sun like agency, if you will. And I saw these dilapidated houses come to life. And I kept seeing the same road or signs on the houses for sale. And it inspired me to watch these things go from nothing to something. And that led me to tell my wife, hey, stay home, I’m getting my real estate license and we’ll make up the difference with what she was making in her job. we’ve done more to make that

Quentin (07:27)
Thank you.

Rob Commodari (07:51)
over the years. So it’s been a great ride.

Quentin (07:55)
Thank you, man. Thank you for the journey. Thank you for telling us what you’re up to, kind of how you got there. Yes, I’m very familiar with Big Town, Federal Hill. I don’t know if I mentioned this to you last time, I was a mailman for 15 years. so, and Howlingtown was my last stop. So I was at Howlingtown. So you know, I know that area very well. And the growth that has happened in that area, watching things come to life. So, you know, I got you, absolutely.

Rob Commodari (08:08)
yeah? No you didn’t, I don’t remember that.

Well, I don’t

know, like Hollandtown is somewhat considered North Canton now.

Quentin (08:25)
I’m

Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Exactly. Exactly. You’re right. You know, we got to get the art. We got to get the articulation, you know, done, done. Don’t want me associated with different parts. And you got, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you got it. Absolutely. Absolutely. But again, just thank you for the journey. I know, you know, write some things down as you was talking. You love going deep with clients, trying to get out and just becoming a transaction realtor. You know, so many people do that. You didn’t want to be that.

Rob Commodari (08:37)
Yeah, that’s funny.

Quentin (08:55)
I love how you said duplicate to duplicate, to duplicate your clients. I love that duplicate. Um, got to introduce to the Feeney company. Um, you you don’t buy leads and they got you, you know, in that kind of mold and they trained you up. And so you said you and your wife, very successful went from that grossing 1000 to doing above and beyond. Right. And so I would go to say some of those things to you because I have a saying where I destiny has no wasted moments. Right.

Destiny has no wasted moments, meaning along the journey, we build momentum to the people we are today. We learn from our lessons, we learn from our hardships, our mindset you reinforce. And so Rob, I would love to know throughout the journey, sir, what has the moments taught you about yourself? Has it taught you discipline, resilience? Has it changed the way you think about real estate? Like what has the moments taught you about you?

Rob Commodari (09:53)
Yeah, that’s an interesting question. I love it because…

A lot of people get into this business and say, I’m going to try out real estate. And this business will try you, if anything. so you have to develop, my opinion, you have to, it’s important to develop disciplines and what those disciplines look like. So you mentioned earlier to three C’s contact, and community. So I’ve created a discipline to make contact consistently with my clients to show them that I.

Quentin (10:37)
Mmm, mmm!

Rob Commodari (11:02)
care consistently and to build community amongst those people consistently. And it takes discipline. I have a discipline and some people look at discipline as a negative word, like you need to be disciplined and discipline. it might sound restrictive, but in a sense is you discipline yourself. It’s for freedom later. Discipline now creates freedom later. And if people understand that, don’t look at discipline as a

Quentin (11:14)
Yeah, right.

Rob Commodari (11:31)
chore as a native or as something restrictive. So discipline is important. You mentioned we’re resilient. I wrote it down before you even said it. What this business has taught you, have to be, and I say have to, you don’t have to do anything. You can choose to be resilient or you can choose to stick your head in the sand like an ostrich and woe is me. This business, if you have the right attitude, almost causes you to be resilient.

because you’re going to get rejected from time to time. You’re gonna fail from time to time. And I see fail, it’s really proceed failure because if you take that proceed failure and you turn it into a lesson or a silver lining that you learned from, then it’s really not a failure. Like for instance, I remember years ago, I was competing for a listing and I’m talking years ago and I walked away from it and I hit it off with these people. They were great, we’re connected. I felt really good.

I got an email like three days later, we’re going with somebody else. And I called them up because anytime I don’t get a listing, I want to know what I could have done better to earn their trust. And that’s something else you have to get to be willing to face that. Like if you don’t get something, you get rejected or fired. What can you learn from that to be better for the next one? And this lady, she sent me this long email as to why she went with somebody else and not me. And she said, you know, even though we’re elderly, we never sold a home before.

And you told us what the numbers were like. You told me what you do. But one of the things you didn’t do in that process is to explain to us the process of what to expect. So I lost, I didn’t lose that listing. didn’t get that listing. And you may think, oh, well, I lost six, $7,000 commission. But her making that comment turned my awareness, my radar on, if you will. And now I’m like, I will never not do that again. So although I didn’t make that six or $7,000 then, it’s going to

Quentin (13:21)
Yeah.

Rob Commodari (13:26)
never, I’m never gonna, I’m gonna make thousands, tens of thousands of more because of that one lesson I learned. So in that perceived failure, I learned a lesson and I carry that for you, forward. So you have discipline, resilience,

learn the resilience from rejection. Rejection is going to come, right? I think of like Major League, whether it’s baseball, football, basketball, all these coaches, they take a job. I’d take nine times out of 10, they’re going to end up getting fired, right? There is somewhere, whether it’s five years, 10 years, 15 years, they’re going get fired. Guess what? They go right back out and try to get another job.

Quentin (13:55)
Mm-hmm. Yup.

Yes.

Rob Commodari (14:01)
Now, granted,

they got millions guaranteed, so it doesn’t bother them, but you still have to face that rejection. So in this business, you learn that and you learn, I hate to use the word to have thick skin, and that’s part of resiliency, but you have to learn how to persevere. I think that’s the other word that I could use. Perseverance is very important because I’ll give you a story. Like I had a listing.

Quentin (14:04)
Yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob Commodari (14:28)
regretfully took an overpriced listing. sold them the house.

I knew what the number was. They wanted this number and I told them it was too high and they were, can always come down. We can always come down. And it took six months to come down to just above where I thought it needed to be. And by that time they fired me and I told them where it needed to be. And then they fire me here. And so in that moment when they fired me, what happened was as frustrated as I was, as I

Quentin (15:26)
Mmm.

Rob Commodari (15:37)
knew this was going to happen because I took the overpriced listing and he knew what I was going to pan out. You can say it manifested it, but it was the facts are the facts.

Quentin (15:42)
Mm, yeah.

Rob Commodari (15:45)
As soon as I got fired, like Rob, instead of saying, well, it was me, instead of complaining about that customer. In that moment, I said, God, what can I be grateful for right now? Right now? What can I be grateful for? And so I just said a bunch of things or some things that I could be grateful for. And I kid you not Q, I sold 30 houses in the next 60 days.

30 houses in 60 days. anytime something negative, if something perceived negative happens, instead of the woe is me attitude, have the gratitude attitude. What can I find right now to be grateful for in that moment of despair, in that moment of disappointment, in that moment of rejection? What could I find to be grateful for? And I’m telling you, it is a game changer. It’s a game changer.

Quentin (16:33)
Game changer.

Rob Commodari (16:35)
I know we’re limited on time here, so I’ll tell you a quick story. just happened this year. I had a client that I connected with and we were talking for like four months maybe. Met him two or three times, over to the house, and we really connected. And I’m gonna sell his house. I’m gonna list his house. He’s asking me all these questions. The only thing we hadn’t done yet is do the paperwork. So was, I think it was like January 21st. He’s like, okay, Rob, I want you to meet me over here so we can do the paperwork. So I get that text or that email.

So go to the place to meet him to do the paperwork. And first thing out of his mouth is like, hey, let’s get right to the point. I’m moving in another direction. And I’m like, this wind comes out of your sail, right? And I’m like, he fired me before he really hired me. And I said this, said, I asked him why, what happened. He gave me his answer and whatnot. None of that’s important right now except to say, I said, not gonna give his name out. I said, sorry, I said, look, this is what’s gonna happen here. Of course it stings a little bit. Of course I’m disappointed.

Quentin (17:20)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob Commodari (17:35)
I’m gonna have my pity party and I’m gonna have that pity party for about a minute, an hour, a day. I’m gonna allow myself to have that pity party, but I’m gonna walk out of this door here and I’m gonna think about what I can be grateful for. And I told him the story of what I told you about 30 houses in 60 days. And I said, I don’t know if I’m gonna sell 30 houses in the next 60 days, but I know I’m gonna find out what I can be grateful for and I’ll let God handle the rest. So as it turned out, dude, it’s just so funny. I ended up selling like 20 houses in 60 days.

It was crazy. It was crazy. So it’s the attitude of gratitude. So I know that was a long answer, but that’s where I’m at with how this business is taking me.

Quentin (18:14)
No, man, I

appreciate the well thought out answer. I appreciate it. And that word, gratefulness, it’s amazing because you said it, the attitude of gratitude. people, ⁓ don’t know, some people, get it, some people don’t. But the ones that don’t get it, what you’re literally doing when you’re grateful, you’re rewiring your brain. You’re rewiring your brain. My wife and I, we have what we call the gratitude jar. So we write down in the jar things that we’re grateful for.

And what we did last year when we brought in a new year, we brought in reading things that we were grateful about. So we got hundreds of things throughout the years, small little things that we’re grateful about. And we kept, and we just kept regurgitating it as the new year came in. And it was a beautiful way to bring in a new year. We’re gonna do the same thing. But it’s hard to be grateful and mad at the same time. Almost nearly impossible. It can’t coexist. It’s hard to be anxious and grateful.

Rob Commodari (18:51)
Love that.

They can’t coexist.

Quentin (19:13)
at the same time. These things can’t coexist. So what you’re doing, you are telling your brain that I’m always finding the, the, the, gratefulness, the optimism in, in a situation. And when you train your brain like that, eventually you don’t, stop shrinking and you go towards what’s working. You go towards the optimism. Whoa, listen, well, I didn’t get that sale, but okay, I’m going to get the next sale. I’m going to make the phone call. I’m going to do this. Like when you’re grateful about what’s going on.

You are training your brain to always think in a positive growth mindset way. And so that’s why it’s the attitude of gratitude, because it literally changes your attitude. It changes your character. It changes your ethics. It changed your brain. It trains the cells. And no longer are you thinking in a pessimistic, but you’re always thinking in an optimistic. And therefore you’re always path in a way towards success. And so I love, mean, everything you said just makes sense to me. It makes total sense. Yeah. I appreciate you Rob.

Rob Commodari (20:03)
Absolutely.

Good.

Quentin (20:11)
Let me ask you this, what’s your next real goal? What are you looking to solve at Scale Next, sir?

Rob Commodari (20:17)
Well, the, enjoy speaking. I enjoy speaking to inspire. wrote a book six years ago that got published. wrote chapters in three different books with a conglomeration of other authors. Uh, and I got a podcast, the podcast is called chiseled. We’re all a work in progress from there. We’re all work in progress. Everybody’s work in progress. The moment you think you know it all or got it all, or you’re total, you’re finished.

Quentin (20:38)
Woo!

Yeah!

Rob Commodari (20:45)
That’s when you’re going to start dying. ⁓ But so what’s important for me next is to be out in front of people, inspiring and impacting them to not only believe in their dreams, but to realize those dreams through perseverance and passionate activity.

And I would love to do that by speaking.

Quentin (21:07)
Yeah, got you. Yeah. ⁓ I love it. I love it. So you want to impact people. One of your C’s is the word community. So I’m going to talk to you about relationship. When you hear that word relationship, what resonates with you,

Rob Commodari (21:27)
Relationship means to me, knowing somebody. Knowing somebody not just at a topical level, not as a surface level, but something more, let’s say intimate at a deeper level. And whether I have a relationship with your relationship with yourself, what’s your relationship with money, what’s your relationship with others. It’s a deep knowing and understanding of that person, yourself, money, material, whatever topic matter or subject matter you’re thinking about.

Quentin (21:30)
Mmm.

Rob Commodari (21:54)
It’s having a relationship. It’s an intimate knowing, I call it knowing and communicating with self, others, so on and so forth, but getting to know people to deeper level.

Quentin (22:03)
Yeah.

Yeah. I love recognition, partnership. ⁓ All of these things are built in with that relationship. You’re recognizing what works, what both of us work, how we work together, recognition, awareness of the partnership that we can have. And I like to use the word relationship, the word that you use, community. I say community is common unity. It’s people working together with a common mindset, with common goals.

And I always say healing happens in community because when we are working together with common goals, we support each other. And this is, is, is even if it’s client, you know, a relationship that way, but still it’s the ecosystem of serving people the right way. And when you serve people the right way and have a good function of support and a good community, things start to click. You, you, you’re more grateful. You’re healthier with your mindset. You’re healthier with.

you know, having a support system and therefore it just creates an ecosystem where everybody can thrive and everything’s become whole and healthy within that ecosystem. And so I love the relationship. I’m glad that the community is one of the C’s contact care and community that you talk about. And so I’m just excited about what you’re doing. I appreciate your mindset. If someone wanted to reach out to you, connect with you, collaborate with you, learn more about what you’re doing, how can they get in contact with you,

Rob Commodari (23:29)
via email, [email protected]. It’s all letters, [email protected]. can check out my podcast. Again, it’s Chiseled-We’re All A Work In Progress. It’s like Chiseled hyphen We’re All A Work In Progress. That’s been five years now, we’ve had that going. And then we have a book. We have a book, it’s called Better Than You Think, Developing Awareness to Live a More Fulfilling Life. And you can check that out on Amazon.

Quentin (24:00)
Rob, I appreciate you. Let me say three things to you. One, thank you for your time. Time is our most precious commodity. You could have been anywhere in the world. You’re here with us. Thank you for your time. Thank you for your story. Thank you for the gift. And I say it’s a gift because you shared it with us and you didn’t have to. But the gift of your transparency, the gift of your honesty, your authenticity. I believe stories have a way of getting to people’s soul and planting a seed. And you never know when it’s going to spring up.

But that one idea that you place into their soul, into their mind, it can literally course correct them in the future. And so I thank you for your story, for giving nuggets, giving information, giving seeds. Lastly, thank you for your mindset, the way you think that you’ve paid for with money and with time and experience, right? Bringing that mindset to this platform. I appreciate you for coming through.

Rob Commodari (24:53)
You got it. I appreciate you, buddy. Thanks for having me. It’s always a joy, man. It’s a joy. do it again another time in the future if you like.

Quentin (24:56)
Absolutely.

Hey man,

know how we do. You know how we do. But listen, everyone, please looking at show notes, get in contact with Rob. Get the book, get on the podcast, listen to the podcast. Please get in contact with him. Definitely make sure you’re subscribed here because I promise you, we’re gonna continue to bring up amazing people just like Rob. So sir, I say thank you again. And everyone else,

Rob Commodari (25:20)
Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Q.