Coach Dan Gordon on Breaking Free from Limitations and Mastering Sales

Coach Dan Gordon (00:00)
Energy, possibility, influence, and curiosity. And this isn’t like some Jedi mind It’s an approach.

And I think about sales this way. If it doesn’t work in dating, it doesn’t work in selling. You can’t memorize a line and then use it on someone and then create a lifelong loving relationship with them. And every sale, at the end of every sale, your prospect

Now, client should walk away from the experience going, this is fantastic.

Quentin (02:01)
Hello everyone. Welcome to the Real Estate Pros podcast. I am your host Q Edmonds and I’m excited to be here today. I’m excited about my guests. I really believe you’re going to hear a lot of alignment on some of the things we talk about here on this podcast. So if you follow me, I think you’re going to hear Coach Dan hit on a lot of stuff that we talk about. And so I’m truly excited to introduce you all to, I’m going let him tell you everything that he does.

but I’m excited to introduce you all to Coach Dan Gordon. Coach Dan, how you doing today,

Coach Dan Gordon (02:34)
Q Edmonds, I am so unbelievably thrilled to be here. We just talked for a minute right before this. I feel like we are brothers now. I feel so connected to you. And I am thrilled to be here to start giving some value to your audience. I want to do that as soon as possible.

Quentin (02:51)
Well, listen, you read my mind because I’m the type, I like to dive right in. So I want you to tell the people what your main focus is these days. I would love for you to give us a little bit of an origin story, kind of how you got into the space that you’re in and then tell them where you are in the world. People love to know where people are geographically. So what you’re up to, your origin story and where you are. Coach Nan, you have the floor,

Coach Dan Gordon (02:55)
Yeah.

Well, I’m a business and sales coach. I’m also a professional speaker. But what I really love, love, love doing is helping people break free from self-imposed limitations. In fact, my mission statement right on the wall says, our mission is to free people from the illusion that their income or happiness is limited by anything other than their own thinking. And it is 100 % true. The thing I love about sales training.

is that anything that you struggle with in life, business, or relationships shows up in a sales interaction. So sales really becomes the ultimate personal development experience. So when I was teaching personal development courses, this is where all this started to germinate. And now I only do it with entrepreneurs and professionals. And so I love doing that. A little bit of background. like I said, I used to teach personal development courses. I got hooked.

on being in the changing people’s lives business. But I got a little derailed, right? I got, I started a marketing company because I thought, well, that’s what I should do to make some money. And what happened about 10, about 10 years ago, my marketing company collapsed. I lost over a hundred thousand dollars in a month. I was literally on the floor in snot and tears going, what am going to do with my life? And that’s when I realized Q, that’s when I realized what I taught people, which is nothing happens to us. Everything happens for us.

So I had to ask myself the question while I’m on the floor in satin tears, why did I create this? What’s the purpose of destroy, of why my business was destroyed? Why I destroyed it subconsciously, I destroyed it, why I did that? And the reason that I did that is I hate marketing. I’m just really good at it. But what I was supposed to do was to be back in the changing people’s live business. for, I broke down Dan Gordon.

Quentin (04:49)
Hmm

Coach Dan Gordon (04:57)
and began building from the ground up Coach Dan Gordon. And that’s who I am today. And so it is a joy and thrill to be in the world of changing people’s lives, of bringing people through the things that they struggle with, helping people lean in to the things that they’re afraid of so they can get the cool magical thing that’s on the other side of the things they don’t want to do.

Quentin (06:06)
Coach Dan Gordon. Wow, man. Thank you. Thank you for taking us to the journey of what it is that you do, kind of how you got into the space of doing what you’re doing. I love, well, I’m going to love asking you this question because I say this statement once every podcast and it’s normally around this timeframe. After the person, you know, tell me about their journey, tell me about their origin story.

And it’s a talk, I write down that what they’re saying, my active listening skills come in. so as you was talking, see, you talk to you, taught personal development courses, had a marketing company. I think I said, I think if I heard you lost over 100 K, did I hear that? 100,000. Hated marketing, but was good at it. And so you kind of revamped yourself.

Coach Dan Gordon (06:45)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was rough.

Hmm.

Quentin (06:54)
You fell into your lane and you created Coach Dan, right? So I regurgitated and reiterated those things to you because Coach Dan, this is a statement that I make. Destiny has no wasted moments. Meaning no matter what we go through in life, we are building on moments that make us who we are today. It has refined our mindset. It shows us what we’re passionate about.

Coach Dan Gordon (06:58)
Yes.

Quentin (07:19)
It lets it re informs out why all these moments have built us to where we are today. So coach Dan, I would love to know what has these moments in your journey taught you about yourself? Has it taught you discipline, resilience? Has it changed your innovation? Like what is these moments taught you about yourself, coach Dan?

Coach Dan Gordon (07:38)
Look, I didn’t come into this life in an easy way. I mean, it was rough. I mean, I have plenty of stories growing up and it was bad. It was really bad. Really nobody in my life, nobody in my family expected me to ever move out of my mom’s house. I mean, by all accounts, I should be living under a bridge with a needle in my arm. The one redeeming factor, the way that I have moved through all of my struggles,

is to lean into the things that I don’t want to do. And this is what I help all of my clients do. I was just talking with the client right before we met. And very quickly, we got to the part of her business that she doesn’t want to do. And we began to unfold what that is and why that is. And it’s not as easy as, okay, this is the hard thing, I’m going to do it. It’s moving into it with grace.

with self-care, with self-love, right? With understanding this is hard, but it’s not just doing it because it’s hard, it’s doing it gracefully and with kindness. I’m not a big goal setter because goals become this thing like the end zone of a football where you run to the end, you spike the ball and you’re like, yes, I made it. That’s not really how life works.

transitions, there’s things that change, but you can’t look at life as an infinitely long football field where you’re just moving the ball 10 yards at a time. You also don’t want to look at, just got to get to this goal because then goals become like this heroin hit, right? I just got to get there and I’m to feel good. And then I have to set another goal to feel good again. No, no, no, no.

Quentin (09:07)
Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Coach Dan Gordon (09:44)
When

Quentin (09:44)
Yeah.

Coach Dan Gordon (09:45)
you are engaged, Q, when you’re engaged in the process and the flow of life, right, there are great things that happen, there are struggles that happen, but God, the universe happens to us, whatever you wanna call it, has created our consciousness this way for the purpose of growth and discovery. And it is in that, and all the leaders, all the greats of the world, the Dr. King, Gandhi’s, Mother Teresa, Richard Branson,

live in this philosophy of a constant state of growth by leaning into the things that they struggle with, having the conversations they don’t want to have to create the resolution that creates massive change. And that’s why I love teaching sales, because everything that you want in life, every struggle that you have is inside of one of those sales conversations. I would love, Hugh, I would love to talk about what I call my epic approach.

to selling. Can we do that?

Quentin (10:38)
Absolutely, yes sir, absolutely.

Coach Dan Gordon (10:39)
Okay,

so let’s talk about EPIC. EPIC stands for four words, E-P-I-C, E, energy, P, possibility, I, influence, and C, curiosity.

Energy, possibility, influence, and curiosity. And this isn’t like some Jedi mind trick, this isn’t some process that you learned or scripts that you bring in and then regurgitate, right? It’s an approach.

And I think about sales this way. If it doesn’t work in dating, it doesn’t work in selling. You can’t memorize a line and then use it on someone and then create a lifelong loving relationship with them. You may have a night, but it doesn’t create something long-term. And every sale, at the end of every sale, your prospect

Now, client should walk away from the experience going, this is fantastic. I’m so glad that I got sold, right? That I went through this process with this person, right?

So.

You know, a lot of people approach selling like dating. you know, you think about this. If you walk into a bar and go, who’s gonna come home with me? Right? Okay, that might happen, but you probably aren’t gonna like the person who says yes, and that’s not gonna turn into someone that you wanna take home to mom. As opposed to, you get to know someone, you build a relationship with them, you start to understand them, right? And that’s what energy, possibility, influence, and curiosity brings you.

Right? So I’m going to start with Epic right at the top, The energy in which you approach a new relationship says everything. There’s something I refer to as the arrival moment. And if you think about it, when you walk into a nice hotel or a nice restaurant, you want that great arrival moment. Hugh, we’re so happy that you’re here. Welcome, right? Your room’s ready, right?

as opposed to like at a crappy hotel, all right, I need a credit card for a security deposit, you’re a little early, so you have to wait, right? That’s a bad arrival moment. A good arrival moment in selling is, Q, I’ve been looking so forward to talking with you. You know, I looked over your LinkedIn and I saw that, oh wow, you just went skydiving. Wow, what was that like? Right? So what’s that tell you? It tells you I did some research on you. I got to know you. I’m looking forward to our conversation.

That’s energy, that’s good energy. It makes you feel good. It allows your prospect to ease into the conversation. Because something that you want to remember in every sales conversation, it’s a little bit adversarial. A sales conversation is unlike any other conversation that you have in your life. It’s not a friendly conversation. Yes, it can be a friendly conversation. It should be friendly, but you aren’t friends with the person.

They know you’re working to get them to part with your money. To part with their money, that makes it a little bit adversarial. They’re a little afraid. What if I could take an advantage of? And it’s not just about losing money. What your prospect is most afraid of is spending the money, not getting what they want, looking in the mirror and going, you idiot, you did it again. You screwed up.

So when you create a good arrival moment, it begins to deconstruct those fears. And so in real estate, somebody walks in, don’t ask the usual question, how long have you been looking for a house? What other houses have you looked in in the neighborhood? And for God’s sakes, don’t say, sign my stupid clipboard thing. I mean, that’s a terrible thing to do. Hi, I don’t see you as a person. You’re a piece of marketing for me.

Take a little time, like, hey, I’m so glad that you’re here. You know what, take a look around. I got some questions that I wanna ask you, but do me a favor, just take a look around, right? Oh, and by the way, let me tell you some things about the house that you might not like. I just wanna put that out there, right? Hey, we live next to a school. The house is next to a school, so if you don’t like noises, it might not be the place, right? Now, a lot of real estate agents won’t do that because, oh, I could lose the sale.

But what you’re doing is you’re narrowing the possibility of finding the right person. And you’re also upping your credibility because wow, most real estate agents don’t tell me things I don’t want to look at, right? They’re trying to hide all the things. Like, the school isn’t that loud. Yeah, have you ever heard of a school that isn’t loud? Like when Rosalind and I were looking for a house, we literally had a realtor say that, well, these kids aren’t that loud. ⁓ what? Like these are kids that are genetically bred not to be loud, sure.

Stop lying. Next one is P. right. So we move from energy into possibility. Here’s where you want to leverage possibility. Most people live in the realm of affordability. I can’t afford it. I can’t afford this. can’t afford that. It is your responsibility as a salesperson to move them from the realm of possibility. I’m sorry, from affordability to possibility. We move them from affordability into possibility.

So when people start saying, can’t afford it, they’re not living in the realm of possibility, like what life could be like. And think of this. Nobody has ever said to a surgeon, look, doc, I would get that kidney, but I just can’t afford it. I guess I’m going to have to die. You can always afford a kidney, right? We can always afford the things that we really, really want. So when, when your prospect is living in affordability, it’s your responsibility.

pull them out of that. Don’t try to play the game of affordability. Move them into possibility. Hey, I get it. I get that this house is probably a little more expensive than you were expecting. But here’s what I want to tell you. I want you to look out at that yard, right? You have two kids, you’ve mentioned that you’d like to have another. I want you to think about your kids and their friends out there in that yard.

All right, not just today, but next week and next year and five years and 10 years and like, and this yard is gonna be filled with joy and fun. And this, little girl might get married in that yard. I want you to imagine her wedding out there and you giving away, all right? We’re living in the realm of possibility.

of what it could be. When I start talking with a prospect, and I really want to work with them as a client, and I talk about my fee, I’ll be honest with you, Q, I’m expensive. I’m an expensive guy, right? So they want to go right into, I can’t really afford that. I get it, man. I know what it’s like to want something and feel like you can’t afford it. When I went to buy my Tesla Model X, it was a really expensive car. I wanted to say I can’t afford it.

But instead I chose to live in the realm of possibility. I wanted a car that drives itself. I wanted a great car that didn’t have a big carbon footprint. So Rosal and I could travel around the country. We both hate driving. Let the car do the driving for us. That was the price of what I wanted. So I chose to live in possibility. I chose to live in getting what I wanted rather than being afraid. And I don’t want you to miss this opportunity either. I tell the story.

that brings out the idea of what possibility could be. So that’s possibility. Next is I, influence. And this is a hard one. This is a really hard one for a lot of people, because being influential, a lot of people confuse that with being pushy. And for some reason, a lot of salespeople, they’re so afraid of being pushy. I don’t want to be pushy. Let’s not be pushy. And I get it, right?

Quentin (18:06)
you

Hmm.

Coach Dan Gordon (18:27)
Showing up as pushy is not a good thing. But so many salespeople, so many realtors overcorrect on the pushy thing. They overcorrect. And I want you to think about it this way. If somebody that you love was suffering from the disease of alcoholism, and you saw them headed towards a bad end, right? You saw them that they’re on the path of self-destruction. And you’re like, look, you really gotta get into rehab. And they go, I don’t know, I’ll think about it.

And you go, okay, that’s fine. I don’t want to be too pushy. Now six months later, you’re at their funeral. And why? Because you weren’t influential. Because you didn’t take the risk of saying, I’ll think about it isn’t good enough. All we’re getting in the car right now. I have a bed ready. We’re going to rehab. Hate me forever, but this is what we’re doing because that’s how much I care about you. Now clearly, most sales aren’t life or death situations, but I think you get the point.

And the point is, is that if you really care about the person, you don’t give up the moment they start to give you a little bit of pushback. What you do is you work to get them, you be influential to get them into possibility. And that influence is, you know, hey, I get it. It’s a little tough. is big. This is making a very big decision.

But I don’t want you to run away from something that you can really love just at first blush here. All So let’s really talk about what’s going on. Like, let’s really talk about what you’re concerned about.

Being influential means asking personal questions, right? It’s getting into what’s really going on with the person. And being influenced is making suppositions. And a supposition sounds like this. I don’t think it’s just about the money. I think it’s a big concern that you’re going to buy this house and then you won’t be able to afford it and the bank’s going to take it away. Like that’s a big concern. I think that’s what’s really going on for you.

Quentin (20:05)
Hmm.

Coach Dan Gordon (20:17)
Now that’s a big ass statement there, right? And a lot of people are afraid of making a statement that big because, what if I’m wrong? But here’s the cool thing. I’ve made a lot of suppositions and I’ve had a lot of people say, no, no, no, that’s not it. It’s actually this. And when they say it’s actually this, now we’re really getting somewhere. And they never would have said that if I hadn’t made that supposition, if I hadn’t been a little pushy in wanting to get to know them better.

So being influential.

It is really about caring about them more than you care about yourself. It’s where you stop worrying about what they think of you or how you’re showing up and you just focus on being the best advocate for them getting what they want.

And the last thing I’ll say about influence is being able to control the conversation. If your prospect starts firing a bunch of questions at you, you have lost control of the conversation.

The person who is answering the questions is the person out of control. The person asking the questions and getting answers is the person in control. And who knows more about your product? Who knows more about the house? You or the prospect? Well, you do. So you should be controlling the conversation, not them. So here’s what you do. If someone’s firing a bunch of questions at you, well, I don’t think this is right, and I don’t think this, and how long is this thing, and.

You do what I call the look moment and the look moment sounds like this. Look, there’s a reason that you’re looking at this house. There’s a reason that you’re asking me these questions. And what seems to be is you’re, you like this house. You really like it, but you’re a little concerned about, Oh, some things might go, wrong. Well, have you ever known a house where things don’t go, wrong? Of course, some things are going go, go wrong. But here’s what I know.

this, this, and this. Here’s what’s true about this place, this, this, this. And here’s what I’m going to do to make sure that you’re happy with it, this, this, and this. You stop the questions by taking control of the conversation. Sometimes I’ll be talking with a prospect, ⁓ well, how many sessions do I get? What happens if I miss a session? And I go, hold on, look. There’s a reason that we’re having this conversation.

And it’s not to make sure that all of your sessions are exactly perfect the way that you want them, it’s because you’re struggling with something. And you’re talking with me because you know that I have a solution. So let’s talk about the solution that you want.

Quentin (22:32)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, look, Coach Dan, you got me on pins and needles because I want to get to my favorite one, curious. So you listen, you got to get curious before we get out of here, man. I need to know about this. Yeah.

Coach Dan Gordon (22:38)
Hahaha

Okay, curiosity, just ask

a lot of questions. Ask them a lot of questions. There are no bad questions in any sales conversation. First of all, you want to delay talking about your product, delay talking about the house, delay whatever you’re selling, delay talking about it and talk about them as much as possible. Get to know them. Get curious about them.

What drove them to this house? What drove them to this neighborhood? What drove them to this? And when they answer that question, ask a question about their answer. Like, well, we like the neighborhood. Well, why do you like this neighborhood? Well, because there’s kind of people that we feel are like us. Oh, like, what is that? Is it your religion? Is it your, you know, your beliefs? What, you know, like,

Well, we’re strong Christians. that’s beautiful. I love people of faith. What drove you to your faith? It’s a lot of curiosity there. Notice how personal I’m getting. Suddenly we’re not talking about a house, we’re talking about them. And people get worried. Uh-oh, I’m asking personal questions. know you should be asking personal questions. Make it very personal.

Get them to reveal unspoken truths. Watch for these truths. Watch for these things like that they let go like, well, I don’t usually tell people this, but boom, you’ve done it. Watch for shifts in their energy. All right. When they start to be like, yeah, we like this place. I don’t know. I’m really going to have to think about it. okay. Well, what are you thinking about? There’s a shift in energy. This shift in energy usually means that they’re getting closer to make a decision and they’re scared.

Because whenever we get close to making a decision cue, the fear is we’re going to make what kind of a decision? A wrong decision. ⁓ I don’t want to make a wrong decision. The easiest way not to make a wrong decision is to make no decision at all. You have to keep them back into the decision making process by getting curious. it seemed like a minute ago you were really into this and like you wanted this house or you were into learning more and suddenly you kind of backed away. What happened there?

I don’t know, we just need to think about it. That’s great. What are you going to think about? Is it the price? Is it the neighborhood? When people try to get out of the conversation without even thinking about it, loop them back in. Ask them what they’re thinking about. Give them a multiple choice. You think about this, this, or this. Be curious. Don’t just ask open-ended questions. Ask a question, then give them three potential answers so that they don’t give you just a BS answer. But you limit the answer into something that will help

drive them deeper into the sale, into getting what they want. But maintaining curiosity is focusing on them. Not whether I’m going to sell this thing, get that eye out of your mind, but what are the things that they’re struggling with that they need to overcome so I can help them make a good choice? And finally, let me just say this, a sales conversation can only end in one of three ways. A yes, we all have a yes.

Right. But yes, these are more rare than they are not a no. We don’t like a no, but at least we brought somebody to a logical end of the conversation. A qualified no is not I’ll think about a qualified no is now this just isn’t right. Great. Just had a curious why. Well, this, this, makes sense. Thank you. Or the third one, next interaction. There should always be a way to have another conversation with them when they seem like they’re interested.

Quentin (25:37)
Yeah. Yeah.

Coach Dan Gordon (26:01)
You know, when I talk with someone about coaching and they’re like, yeah, this seems really right, but I’m going to have to think about it. Great. It’s, it’s Tuesday. How about two, two, days, two days is enough time to think about it. Let’s go ahead and book a call for a Thursday and let’s talk about it You know, so that’s Epic.

Quentin (26:17)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Coach Daniel,

man, ethic is ethic. Thank you for walking us through energy, possibility, influence, curiosity. That is a great tool. And I know that is changing people’s lives. And listen, I wrote it down. I’m have to make sure I apply this to my own, to my own way and my own tools and the way that I do things.

Coach Dan Gordon (26:23)
Hehehe.

Quentin (26:41)
So Coach Nair, if someone wanted to reach out to you, connect with you, collaborate with you, learn more about what you’re doing, how can they get in contact with you,

Coach Dan Gordon (26:49)
Well, first of all, I want you, you who are listening, you too, to download the review of Epic, right? I mean, we went through it very quickly. I know it’s a lot. So just go to gordon.coach/epic review, gordon, G-O-R-D-O-N dot coach slash epic review. And you will be able to download for free. You don’t have to buy anything. You will be able to download everything I just discussed, right, in great detail so you can learn to be Epic too.

A easy way to get in touch with me is to book a call. If you book a call with me, and there are two things that I guarantee in that call. One, you’re gonna walk away with at least $10,000 worth of advice. The other thing I guarantee in our call is that at the end you will not be a client, because I will not ask you to be a client, because that call is not about enrolling you in something, it is about helping you. If for some reason you like me, you wanna talk further about

coaching, can do that on another call. But our first call will only be about you. To book that call, just text the word HELP, H-E-L-P, to this number, 213-409-8366, 213-409-8366, and text the word HELP, H-E-L-P, to 213-409-8366, and book a no-cost 30-minute consultation with me.

I get this out, very few people take advantage of this. It blows me away. So many people are afraid I’m gonna try to sell them something. I’m not. I put this out, I’ve done a lot of very few people have booked these calls. I’m always grateful to have a conversation with someone who has the courage to book a call with me.

Quentin (28:28)
Listen, I appreciate you. want to say three things. One, thank you for your time. You could have been done anything in the world, but you were still with us. Secondly, thank you for your story. have a way, stories have a way of planting seeds in people that can literally co-story with them. And I know you planted some seeds today. Lastly, thank you for your mindset, the way you think and bringing that mindset to this platform. I appreciate you coming on Coach Dan.

Coach Dan Gordon (28:41)
Hmm.

I appreciate you, Q. Thank you so much.

Quentin (28:52)
Well, listen, y’all heard Coach Dan. Listen, everything he just shared is in the show notes. Get in contact with him. But definitely make sure you are subscribed here so that we can continue to let you know when we’re bringing up amazing people just like Coach Dan. So, sir, thank you again. And everyone else, y’all have a fantastic day.