Why Top Real Estate Agents Ask Questions Instead of Selling | Sales Psychology With Steve Sapato

Steve Sapato (00:00)
But the real answer is never tell people what you do. And people look at me like, what? I go, if I tell you, if I’m an Aflac salesman, and I say, well, I sell Aflac, do you wanna talk to me anymore? No? No, right?

The only Aflac people I’ve met are just, as soon as you say, they’re like, I want to sell you, know, Aflac insurance. I don’t want it.”

Quentin (00:24)

Hello everyone. Welcome to the Real Estate Pros podcast. I am your host Q Edmonds and I am excited to be here today. I have another fantastic guest and I’m gonna say this, cause y’all know if you watch me, you hear me, that’s like a normal spill that I say and I always say I’m excited about my guests. I listen. It’s very rare that I’m not excited about my guests. And I tell you why, because I just find people fascinating. I think we all.

have our own superpowers and we all have something interesting to say. And so when I say I’m excited, I am like genuinely excited. But I think I’ll be honest also, there are some people that I just seem to link up and sync up with better than others. And that’s just me being honest. I sync up with everybody, but some people it’s just, we’re just here. And this is one of these people where I just feel like this is just going to be just a very, very good conversation. And so he has to listen.

He’s been in business for over 35 years. He’s been helping on real estate investors for over 15 years. So trust me, he has a lot to say. So we’re going to have fun, but we’re going to get educated as well. And so I am so excited to introduce you all to Mr. Steve Sapato. And I should have asked you about your last name. How did I do,

Steve Sapato (02:53)
You did great, Steve Sapato was my name. You got it.

Quentin (02:56)
Absolutely. How you doing today, Mr. Steve?

Steve Sapato (02:59)
I’m fabulous. I’m having a great morning and ⁓ you know things work things will always work out no matter what so even if you’re having a bad day you’re going to turn it around yourself.

Quentin (03:08)
You know, that is so true. And I hope people hear those words and really believe that because I am with you. I strongly believe that this life cycle, like this life, it goes in cycle. There are ups, there are downs. There are moments that grow us and there are moments that we have to sit in to really experience how to overcome and how to be able to look back and say, ooh, I learned a lot from that situation. And so I’m with you.

I totally believe everything is always going to work out. I know some people, know, I know you have glass half empty, glass half full. Everybody’s perception is not the same, but me and Mrs. Steve really believe that. yeah. so Mrs. Steve, let’s do this. I want to dive in. I want to hear your voice. So I want to dive in. I want you to tell the people what your main focus is these days, like what you mainly do now. I would love for you to give us an origin story of kind of how you got to what you’re doing now.

And then tell them where you are geographically. They love to know where you are and what part of the world you’re in. so, Mr. Steve, sir, you have the floor. Yes, sir.

Steve Sapato (04:11)
Thanks a lot. Well,

I started I’m here in Sebring, Florida, which is center of the state in Florida, USA. But the way I got started and actually I was a real estate appraiser for 21 years back in Illinois. And I would watch how people did their business. I would learn. But here’s one of the things that I learned in that time. And I didn’t learn it till after I got out of the business. And that was after working for 21 years as a real estate appraiser, talking to all of these realtors. I did not have one realtor.

ever in 21 years who approached me to say, you should be buying real estate. Now looking back, you go, why wouldn’t they ask one of the real estate appraisers, you how many properties do you own or what are you doing or how? No, you see, one of the challenges and of course, as I grew in my ability to not only speak, but in my ability in sales,

I learned that so many realtors take the training they get at their office.

and think that’s enough and it’s absolutely not. You have to have so many more skills. have to have communication skills. You have to have questioning and listening skills. You have to be able to close skills. You have to be able to, there’s so much more to it. I’ve had people say, ⁓ I had one lady a few years ago, again, a few years, probably 10 now, but we were in a networking group and I asked her, because she was new, said, how many houses have you sold this year? And this was September. And she said, well, I’ve sold six. went, six? You aren’t gonna.

They can live and sell the six, right? So I said, really, is that how many you wanted to sell? She said, well, I’d love to sell a lot more than that, but it just isn’t happening. And I made the approach to her, well, you probably need a coach. And she said, well, I have an in-house coach. Now she’d been selling for two years. And I said, you have an in-house coach? And she said, yeah. I said, how long has you had the in-house coach? She said, well, they’ve been there since I started. I said, well, if you have an inside coach who is supposed to be helping you grow your business.

and you’re still only selling six houses a year. Maybe you should look outward and see if someone else can really help you double or triple your sales next year. And she was like, ⁓ I think they’re going to do a good job for me. And I think that freaks me out because that’s what so many of us are, Quentin, which is ⁓ we think what we know right now is what we’re supposed to know. And very few of us go on to learn more. I was just doing a sales training for a fabulous company. ⁓

Hydrate HQ. And ⁓ one of the things that we talked about was what do you know that you really don’t know? In sales, you think, I’ve got a program out there, and it’s ⁓ how to fill your calendar. So I don’t care what you do. It’s called 3MinutesTS. I don’t care what you do. If you are not filling your calendar, you should find a way to fill that calendar.

And so many times it’s like, well, I’m gonna do cold calls, or I’m gonna do this call, I’m gonna put that out, I’m gonna send so many emails.

But the real answer is never tell people what you do. And people look at me like, what? I go, if I tell you, if I’m an Aflac salesman, and I say, well, I sell Aflac, do you wanna talk to me anymore? No? No, right?

The only Aflac people I’ve met are just, as soon as you say, they’re like, I want to sell you, know, Aflac insurance. I don’t want

Quentin (08:16)
you

Steve Sapato (08:18)
But if I tell you I’m an ⁓ insurance, you already know what I do. If I tell you I’m an accountant, you already believe you know what I do and how I do. So as soon as I tell you what I do, you kind of lose interest in what I do because you think you know. And that’s every job you’ve got. Every job you’ve got says, hey,

Quentin (08:18)
Yeah.

Steve Sapato (08:39)
I know what those people do. So what you don’t want to do is you never want to tell people what you do. And people go, well, I want people to know what I do. I go, no, you don’t want people to know what you do until you know if you can be of service or help them in their problems or challenges. If I walk up to you and say, hey, I can help you with your, I’m selling a burial plots, Q, I’m going to go out there and I’m going to say, hey, you want to get your burial plot right now, Q. And Q’s like,

That’s stupid, right? I don’t know. I’m young. I’m not ready to die. And so I’m already bucking the system. But if I ask the right questions to get you to the place, and if you say, well, what do you do? I go, hey, thanks for asking. Can I ask you a couple questions about what you do first? And you go, well, of course, because everybody likes to talk about themselves. And I never have to tell you what I do until I find out if what I do can be of service to you. And then I close the system.

Quentin (09:10)
You’re right.

Steve Sapato (09:36)
and make the appointment. And that’s what so many people don’t understand that if I, I’m a realtor, great, I don’t want to know anything more. I’m not going to buy or sell my house that I know of in the next five to 10 years. That doesn’t mean a realtor should always say, I’m a realtor. No, they should say, hey, you know, and then ask about, hey, where are from? You live in Florida. How long you been in that house? Right? I’ve been here. Well, I’ve been in this house three years, but I, and where’d you move from? Well, I was a house up the street because I just bought into the same subdivision.

Oh, how long were you in that house? Less than a

Well, where were you before that? I was in this place in Tampa for four years. You see, now I’ve got a pattern. I know that this person is moving and may move again within the next two or three years. Should I put them on my list to stay in touch with them? Absolutely. And that’s way it should be for everybody. They don’t know what I do yet. I’ve already learned that they might be moving. So in real estate, if you don’t tell people what you do, but ask and learn about them, the world changes.

It’s just like anything else they do. The one place in their list, in a realtors list that makes me nuts, is they go, well I’ve got an automated system, a CRM, I’ve got an automated system in my office that takes care of all the communication with my people. Now, I don’t know about you, but here’s what I can tell you. Every person I talk to, when I say, how long you lived here? And they go, oh a year, two years, five years, I don’t care how long. I go, oh and who’s your realtor?

98%, 98 % will say, I don’t know. Well, why don’t they know, Q, why don’t they know who their realtor is? Because the realtor left it up to the CRM system, the CRM system sends out a mass mailing. It says at the top, know, Bob’s real estate. And I go, I don’t care about Bob’s real estate. And before I even open it, I throw it away. What the realtors do, and I don’t know how many houses you’re selling, but if you’re the typical realtor, you’re selling between 20 and 24 houses a year.

Quentin (11:43)
Hmm

Steve Sapato (12:07)
So if you’re closing 24 houses a year, how long would it take you to drop them a personal message, a personal email, and drive to their house and give them a personal gift every three to six months? if you made, what do they make, 6 % still, we’ll say, on a $200,000 house, you made $12,000, I know you deduct back out of that, you might have made six, you might have made $4,500. But if out of that $4,500, you just say $500,

to give them a gift over the next two to four years. Every six months, you walk up to their door and you say, hey, I know we haven’t spoken in six months, but you remember me, I’m your realtor. People are gonna go, you don’t have to tell them that. And go, yes, you do. You tell them I’m your realtor. I told you your house six months ago, and I just wanted, here’s another thank you gift. I don’t care what you give them, right? A $10, a $20 thank you gift out of that 500 things slash one that you set aside from your $4,500 profit.

and people will always remember your name and more importantly, they’ll refer you. Don’t leave it up to the CRM, don’t leave it up to the company, don’t leave it up to the office. Anyway, you ask a bunch of stuff. That’s what I do. I help realtors sell more and work their business so that they absolutely make as much money as they wanna make. That’s where I’m at.

Quentin (13:27)
That’s amazing.

Mr. Steve, you should think about being a speaker. I think you would do very well with being a speaker.

Steve Sapato (13:32)
I don’t think this sign has anything to do with me being a

Quentin (13:35)
No.

You know, I’m

going tell you what’s brilliant about what you said. people who’s been following me, know I mentioned this before about communication. Communication has a 55 38 7 rule. 50. Yeah. So 55 % of communication is your body language.

38 % of communication is your tone. 7 % of communication is actually the words you say. And so I love because in the world of CRMs and the world of AI, it’s hard to get that body language part of communication coming through. And even if they get the tone in the CRM, the tone could be totally off. the tone, it doesn’t reflect naturally the tone of the

Steve Sapato (14:11)
Yes, yes.

Is it? Yeah.

Quentin (14:31)
you know, the vocal actives that coming out my mouth is all tones that you are interpreting that’s being read. And then the 7 % is actually only the words that you say. So what you’re talking about is a interaction with the customer that way that they can really read the communication that you’re giving them. And even that 7 % of the words that you say, there’s a saying, you probably heard it before. People may not remember what you said, but they remember how you made them feel.

Steve Sapato (14:40)
the next.

Quentin (14:59)
So it’s like everything that you just said is kind of covering the basis. And I know this will help people in sales, but this would just help people within

Steve Sapato (14:59)
Absolutely.

Quentin (15:50)
And like you said, if you build a healthy relationship, they’re going to refer you. And here’s the thing, if you get them, you can get somebody else, but then you also probably can get their children. And then you get their children’s children. And you know, it’s like this ecosystem of just relationship, community.

Steve Sapato (16:04)
at Drake.

Quentin (16:07)
culture that you’re building. So this is, yes, it’s going to help you in sales, but it will also help your culture. The culture of your business will look different. And that’s why I’m so glad you brought those points out. And these are the out of the box things that people kind of kind of think about, because this is just not about just business. This is about lifestyle. This is about, ⁓ you know, I tell people any sustainable business at the foundation of it is servitude. When you really serving the people that you’re interacting with. And so I love everything you said, Mr. Steve, I really do.

Steve Sapato (16:37)
You know that and I think that’s what so many just we talked about Q and I talked before we got on but we talked about how we both have podcasts and it’s how it’s difficult sometimes to have people on podcasts because they want to be interviewed right go to the late night talk show and it’s I asked a question they give an answer I know what you want to have is a conversation and that’s what you want with every client every customer you have as a conversation you know that’s how you get that relationship

Quentin (16:38)
Yeah, really do.

Steve Sapato (17:04)
The one thing that solidifies all of your jobs is a relationship. And that’s what I, like I said, I was just out teaching a workshop the other day to a bunch of salespeople. And that’s what we talked about is you have to establish, you can’t just walk in a cold call in office. They’re gonna go, hey, thanks, go away. You establish a relationship in some way, shape or form, which going to help you make a connection. I don’t care if you stop in one time, I’m supposed to go to this office tomorrow and make my pitch.

on my list for tomorrow. So today if I get the chance, I should go in and scope out the office. You know, and just see, like if I’m, like I’ll use Hydrate HQ as an example. If I’m there to sell a water system to the office, then if I walk in and I’m, and they go, can I help you? I said, well, I’m not, you know, I’m not really sure, but hey, by the way, do you have a drinking fountain or do you have, you can I get some water? And if they go, well the drinking fountain’s over there. Okay.

Or if they go, no, we only have bottled water and it’s really for our clients. Okay. So you’ve got all this stuff that you get information on. So before you walk back in tomorrow, you’ve got a good idea of what they’re doing. And that’s the relationship you create. Cause you can say, you know what? stopped in yesterday cause I was down the hall and I found this. So I thought I’d stop back in and see if I could be of service. And that opens the door for you to be able to have a conversation and create a relationship with that.

Now, however you want to do it is up to you, but that’s the name of the game is creating relationships. Especially you said something that was really interesting. I’ve been doing some AI stuff and I just finished one and I put it out there. I think it’s out on LinkedIn right at the moment. So I put it in about 10 minutes ago, but it’s me, right? With an AI voice, obviously, and I haven’t learned how to make my voice AI, but we almost always can tell AI.

because the patterns of speech are off, right? It’s just two cut and dryers to this. So when you say, we want to create a conversation with somebody so we have that relationship, it’s one thing. I got Hanu the talking dog, she’s right down at my feet right now, but she talks about business. Hanu the talking dog in business is on YouTube. If you look up H-A-N-U Hanu, you’ll see my one video so far and I’ll put out two or three more.

Quentin (18:59)
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Steve Sapato (19:23)
about Hanu teaching people how to be better at this, right? But if you got a dog talking dog, they don’t care if the dog matches the lips. But if it’s a person and their cadence is off, it changes the world. So AI still has a long way to go, but always be aware that you create the relationship and always work on video if you can do it to help your customers find out more about you.

Quentin (19:46)
So many, this is so good. I appreciate you so much. Now, I want to ask you a question that I ask a lot of my, you know, people that come on. And so as you was talking, opening this up, I was writing a lot of things now from Sebring, Florida. He was an appraiser for 21 years. No one asked you how many houses you own. And so that got your mind thinking like,

then maybe your coaching is a little off and you talk to somebody and they was like, well, I got in-house coaching, you know, I’m okay. And so this taught you that there was a space where you was needed. Right. So I want to ask you this because 21 years in an appraiser, you switched over and be like, Hey, listen, I feel like I can coach people, help people. I often say, Mr. Steve, destiny has no wasted moments. Right. Meaning no matter what you go through in life, these moments,

build the person that we see now. But it’s these little moments that you’ve been just borrowing from all your life that kind of makes you the person who you are now. So Mr. Steve, I would love to know, throughout your journey, throughout just like your realization of how you can help people, what have these moments taught you about yourself? Has it taught you discipline? Has it taught you humility? Like what has these moments within your journey taught you about you, Mr. Steve?

Steve Sapato (20:46)
yet.

I really like that question because there’s so many things. That’s just it. So many things. So I ask people all the time, what do you know that isn’t true? People are looking at you like, what? The answer is, let’s face it. You go back to Christopher Columbus. They said, hey, you’re going to fall off the face of the earth because the earth is flat. What they knew then was not true. So most of what we know today, especially in today’s political thing where everybody’s putting words out,

What do you know and what do you not know? I don’t know anything about foreign, everybody wants to jump in on the foreign relations on who’s bombing who and who’s blowing up what. You don’t know anything about that. Let’s stay in your own bailiwick. You don’t know what happened there, right? You’re not privy to any inside information. They go, I got a cousin who lives, shut up, right? But what I learned from all of this was I always have more to learn. I’m always going to be missing some things that somebody else might be able to help me with.

So when somebody says, have you heard of this? Like you said, hey, have you heard of this part, the 55, 38, 7? Have you heard of that? Oh, then when you put it out, went, oh, I had heard that, But you never say, oh, how many people go, oh, I know that, or I’ve heard that, right? I’ve heard that before, and they just blow you off. And the answer is always be open to what somebody else is saying. Always acknowledge them. How many times have ever heard a story from somebody that’s a good friend, and you’ve heard that story 7, 10, 100 times?

You tell them, shut up, I heard that story. Now maybe you do. But most of the time you just want them to feel better. And even if you laughed at that story 20 times, you’re gonna laugh again to make them feel better. Always do that with the people around you. Even if you know what they’re saying is not true. Don’t stand and correct them. Just ask them questions. Say, hey, how does that work? We talked about that. I got two books out. Learn to Win, which is all about growing yourself as a person.

Quentin (22:55)
Mmm.

Steve Sapato (23:06)
so that you can become the person who’s going to win at life. And then the other one is shut up and succeed. And it’s all about, and there’s two things in there, and you hit it on the head cue when you said it’s about quieting your inner voice, but it’s also about quieting your outer voice. ⁓ As a salesperson, what you learn to do is ask for the sale and then shut up. Now that’s not true anymore, right? But that’s what they teach you. So you have to learn.

Quentin (23:26)
Mm. Mm. Mm. ⁓

Steve Sapato (23:31)
when the right moment for silence is, know, when, because you don’t want it to be awkward for anybody. And so when they say, ⁓ they’ll get tired of silence and they’ll talk first, which means you got the sale. The answer is no, you just put them off. They’re like, I didn’t feel good about that. So all of this stuff in, what you put together is all about how do you make somebody else feel? And when you ask, what did I learn on that? ⁓ I learned that there were a whole lot of realtors that didn’t know how right to

get more business because if not one of the hundreds of realtors I dealt with ever said, Steve, do ⁓ you have more than one house? Nobody, right? Boy, they were missing because it turned out at the end of my career when I got rid of that business, I bought three houses that next year, right? And so that was somebody that I decided to work with, but nobody in 21 years, because I didn’t know it. ⁓ I should have known it because I worked with these people. And again, how many realtors?

Quentin (24:16)
Yeah.

Steve Sapato (24:29)
are out there when they’re saying you should buy this house as an investment. How many realtors are buying houses and investment? Very few. If you ask how many properties do you own? And almost all the realtors again ask them. They’ll say one, they might say two, but none of them are going to say, I got 20 houses or I got 20 apartment building because they’re out there selling it, but they’re not living it. And that’s a big difference in how you see things and how you grow. So that’s what I’ve learned.

Question myself, question my motives, question what I know, what I don’t know, what can I do better, and who can help me do it better, right? Anybody who makes a suggestion, it’s, what do you have for a suggestion? I work on a committee right now that if you make a suggestion, they’re like, no, no, no, we’re not gonna do that. Okay, so eventually you stop making suggestions because they’re always negative on what you’re gonna do. So always be open to other people, always.

Quentin (25:26)
Mr. Steve, man, I cannot thank you enough. You have really dropped some gems for people to really, really chew on. If someone wanted to reach out to you, connect with you, collaborate with you, learn more about what you’re doing. Mr. Steve, how can they get in contact with you,

Steve Sapato (25:43)
easy. Just look up my name Steve [email protected] Now if you really want to Google me Google Steve Sapato S-A-P-A-T-O Google Steve Sapato and and you know I’ve been out there I think I got out there before the internet started I think I’m so old right but you’re gonna find a whole lot of stuff including a lot of my sales courses a lot of my YouTube stuff you’ll find Hanu the business dog and what you what I want you to do is reach out and just ask me questions

So if you’ve got questions on how to make more money, how to sell more of your product, how to close more deals, reach out and just say, hey, Steve, I got a question for you. I would love to answer it for you. [email protected].

Quentin (26:26)
loving Mrs. Steve or listen, sir, let me say three things to you sincerely. And when I say sincerely, I mean sincerely. First, thank you for your time. You could have been anywhere in the world, but you’re here with us and you know that I believe so. I believe so. But I just thank you for being here as a speaker. You know, you can put a premium on your time. So I thank you for giving us your time.

Steve Sapato (26:38)
I could’ve? Nobody told me that!

Quentin (26:54)
Secondly, thank you for your story. ⁓ I’ll tell people, I put a premium on stories. I think stories have a way to plant seeds in people and you may never see the growth, but still you planted a seed that’s really gonna nurture them for years and years to come. And so thank you for leading with transparency and honesty. I appreciate it. Yes, sir.

Steve Sapato (27:15)
Can I jump in there? One of the phrases

I use every time I talk to people is, ⁓ tell, stories sell.

So quit telling me stuff, start telling me a story about it. I’ll jump in there while you’re writing. And one of the things, one of the ways when people say, you know, when you meet and you’re going to network and I want to find out what they do so I can see if what I do can be marketed to them, right? People like I’ll say, what do you do? And then they turn around and say, well, what do you do? And you have two ways to answer that. First of all, I always say, gee, thanks for asking. Hardly anybody asks about me. Can I ask you a question first? And they always go, yep. And then you start the process over with

what they can tell you about them. for me it’s always works. Well, some people say, well, what if it doesn’t? What if it doesn’t? What do you tell people? I go, if you are put back into a corner and you have to tell people what you do, just simply ask them this. You go, you know, that’s fairly complete. Would it help if I told you a story about what I do so you could understand it better? And people always say, yes.

And then you can tell them one of the stories about how you succeeded with somebody ⁓ who might be somebody similar to them. So it’s good to find out more about them before you tell that. But anyway, so I hope that helps.

Quentin (28:35)
So listen, thank you because you proved my point about stories. so I’m glad people hear from me. I’m glad they heard it from you, is that stories are so powerful. And that’s why I put premium on it. And so last thing I want to say to you is thank you for your mindset. Thank you for the way you think and bringing that mindset to this platform. You have really given us great value. I appreciate you, Mr. Steve, for coming through today.

Steve Sapato (28:59)
been my pleasure. really appreciate you having me on, Quentin. That’s been great.

Quentin (29:02)
Absolutely. Well, listen, y’all heard Mr. Steve, look in his show notes, check out his books, learn to win, shut up and succeed, get on his website, listen, check him out, but definitely make sure you are subscribed here, because I keep telling you, we’re going to bring up amazing people just like Mr. Steve. So sir, you got it. You see him. You see him. He telling you. He telling you. I appreciate you, Mr. Steve. Thank you so much. And listen, everyone else, listen, intentionally have a fantastic day. It’s in your control.

I promise you it’s in your control. It may sound wonky, but it’s in your control to intentionally have a fantastic day. So let nothing derail your day. So y’all have a good one. you got something to say, Mr. Steve? Yes, sir. Go ahead.

Steve Sapato (29:44)
I got one more thing if you’ll put it in.

When he said it’s intentional and you hear people say, I don’t believe that. Like, I don’t believe I can have a better, I don’t believe it’s in my control. I go, okay, do me a favor then. For the next two weeks, I want you to sit up in the morning and say, I’m sick and I’m dying. Every morning I want you to sit up and say, I’m sick and I’m dying, right? And they’ll go, well, I’m not gonna do that. And you ask them, why not? And they go, well, I don’t wanna put that in my head.

So what you’re saying is I’m sick and I’m dying could hurt your health, but I’m fabulous and fantastic won’t help you? Anyway, hope you have a blessed day.

Quentin (30:27)
Mic drop, this is the mic. Y’all have a good one.