How Real Estate Pros Use Mindset, Communication, and NLP to Overcome Fear and Win More Deals

Cappi Pidwell (00:00)
And I said to her, Cindy, when did this happen? Like three years ago.

years. She’s walking around with that brain drain with that experience paralyzing her future capacity so she thinks it’s kind of a subconscious excuse but she’s just letting it play on a loop over and over over over over telling herself and I’m not saying this happens to everybody but I promise you what does happen to people they might do that loop for a month

Scott Bursey (01:59)
Pro’s welcome back to the real estate pros podcast powered by investor fuel. Today we’re strapping in for a mind bending session. Our guest is an author and an absolute master of the mind bringing a massive dose of mental fuel to our community. If you’ve ever felt stuck, hit a plateau or struggled to communicate the true value of a deal, then today is the day you break through our guest. Cappi Pidwell is here to show us how

NLP and hypnotherapy are not just about personal development. They’re about the ultimate competitive advantage in real estate. Cappi, thank you for bringing the incredible feel to the show today.

Cappi Pidwell (02:44)
Thank you. appreciate it. I’m excited to be here with you.

Scott Bursey (02:47)
For those who aren’t familiar with your journey, what’s the spark that started your career and what is your focus now?

Cappi Pidwell (02:56)
Well, that’s a loaded question, but I’ll simplify it. 30 years ago, I was a residential real estate agent. I got very stressed out. The interest rates were over 12 % back then. And I got lockjaw.

I got TMJ because I’d grind my teeth at night and I was so stressed out all the time just trying to find a deal and sell and buy you know the busy real estate mindset and prior to that I was a title rep so I was very familiar with the industry but the stress was really high so after I got lockjaw I went to the doctor long story short they wanted to perform a very extensive surgery and somebody said to me one day in an office she said Cappi you should go try hypnosis and I’m like yeah right that it was a joke quite frankly on a scale of one to ten

I say I was a 15, a very type A personality, ⁓ just never really thought out of the box that much. But out of desperation, I found a person who did hypnosis in the phone book. That’s how long that’s how long ago it was. And after one session, ⁓ not only did my jaw open, it was instant in an hour, I couldn’t believe it. And I had locked up for five days. So my jaw popped open and it was amazing. And she made me this little cassette tape. And so I just

started listening to it. And what I noticed really fast Scott was my stress started to decrease really fast. And I was like, this is incredible. So I went back to her and I was like, what else can you do? And because I was in sales and there was a lot of stress, I wasn’t really focusing on the money part of it as much as I was getting clarity in my mind, stopping the overwhelm, the stress, all the things I used to worry about. And it was amazing to me. My sales started to increase very fast.

stress started to decrease and I started going into my office and just sharing what I was doing and you know 30 years ago nobody talked about mindset and business skills. It wasn’t a part of you know the Dale Carnegie training and all the things I took to become a salesperson. Nobody really talked about what was going on inside of me and here I went to see this lady for a symptom and it ended up changing my life. It changed my income. It changed my business. So here I’ve been now as speaker on thousands of stages as you mentioned I’m an

I’ve opened for massive, massive, you know, audiences and that type of thing. So it’s really teaching for me, teaching people the inner game to their success. And I’ve been in real estate because I used to do it, but I do speak to other audiences as well. Entrepreneurs, business owners, that type of thing.

Scott Bursey (06:13)
That’s so powerful, Cappi. It really drives home the idea that the greatest asset we have is actually between our ears.

Cappi Pidwell (06:23)
Location, location, location. That’s what I say.

Scott Bursey (06:27)
Let’s go over a couple scenarios. First, know, fear of the big deal. Let’s say a pro has analyzed a 50 unit apartment complex. The numbers work perfectly, but they’re hit with analysis paralysis, the fear of massive dead load. How does the mindset shift from the cold, crush me, to I’m capable of executing this?

Cappi Pidwell (06:55)
That is such a good question and we could take this at every level, right? It could be a 50 unit complex. It could be somebody who’s just a beginning investor. So to me, it doesn’t really matter where the person is, right? It’s what they’re going through emotionally. So I would say starting with those numbers, with the facts, if it makes sense, the profits there, then what does the person tell themselves? I can’t do this or that’s too much money. That’s really where I start telling the person to go within because I’ll tell you, I have an investor

right now he’s been my client for many many years and he’s extremely extremely successful his problem was so he would get paralyzed and so analysis problems and so stressed before he would move his money or make an investment that he’d have to see me for a session just to get the clarity to then make the decision because he started making very bad decisions out of stress out of ⁓ you know I have to and then it started just really not getting him the outcome

he wanted, although he had the money he wanted, he started sabotaging a lot of that because his decisions were coming from, I don’t know if it was fear or I got to make a decision today and then yet when I started working with him he would say, know, Cappi, I knew, I had a gut feeling, I kind of had a hunch.

that this wasn’t going to go good or it was either way. But it’s really learning to listen to those instincts. So if the paper looks good, but inside everything’s saying no, people don’t trust themselves. They’re looking for trust outside of themselves. And I’m telling you, the subconscious drives all your decisions. So I would say it really is learning that inner game of understanding the subconscious because most people have absolutely no idea how it even works. So it does drive every decision we make.

that’s the part I love teaching people because then I can take anybody and make them from here to here very very quickly when they start to master their subconscious mind.

Scott Bursey (08:54)
That makes total sense. And let’s talk about this one, the silent seller. You’re sitting across from a motivated seller and they’re barely saying a word, making it impossible to gauge their true motivation or price point. What NLP technique can a pro use to quickly establish rapport and get them to open up about their real needs?

Cappi Pidwell (09:18)
I love that. So I think all people across the board are, there’s a lot of people that are fair sellers are afraid maybe the person sitting across from them they’re not comfortable with. But I think it’s really asking the right questions.

And I’ll tell you this right now, Scott, not everybody’s for me. And I’m very clear on who I want to work with. So if somebody’s sitting across from me and I ask them questions and we’re not in alignment, I’m probably not the best investment or resource for them. And I would much rather help a seller make a choice, make a smart choice, and not invest my time into something where I have to push or shove or try to pull out. It’s really powerful to just ask a really good question. Here, I’m going to give all your viewers a really

good tip on how to do this. If somebody’s quiet and they’re withholding and they probably have subconscious fear or uncertainty about you, basically an easy way to let them kind of lower that wall of defense if you will is to say something like, Scott on a scale of one to ten how motivated are you to move into whatever they want to that new big house to that smaller version this is too overwhelming for you whatever their situation is on a scale of

of

one to 10. How motivated are you to get that money to send your grandchildren to college? Whatever they want, whatever the reason they’re selling, you’ve got to tie that into the emotion because it’s not just about the house and the percentage and the it’s about what they want to do. And if you can get a person out of their head and into their heart a little bit.

to what is that on a scale of one to 10 for you. If it’s a two and they’re like, it’s a two, we don’t really want, we’re not ready, I’m gonna know that right now. I’m gonna say, okay, you know what, I’m gonna call you in four weeks when you’re a 10 or what’s it gonna take to get you to a 10?

Because I’m not going to invest my time and drag somebody up a hill with me, if you will. My time is really valuable as a professional person. So I think getting a person really clear is your job as a sales professional. It’s not trying to close or shove or drag them up a hill. It’s asking really key questions to get that person so clear in what they want to accomplish and if you’re the right match for them to accomplish their goal.

Scott Bursey (12:07)
Communication is everything. It’s about mirroring and matching their energy and language so they feel understood before they even feel like they’re selling.

Cappi Pidwell (12:19)
Right.

Well, I’ll give you, I’ll share my philosophy of sales with you. I don’t have to sell anything. I share solutions with people and I know they work because I’ve been doing this for 30 years. If somebody is sitting across from somebody and their confidence, it’s not just so much for me. And I do NLP about marrying and matching. I’m always coming from abundance. I’m always coming from, I’m not going to look for it. I’m not trying to get it. I’m coming from something that I’m very clear of my deliverable. So when I

coach

a lot of entrepreneurs and business people that we’re all salespeople. We’re all selling something. I have a coaching program. I have products online. We’re all sharing a solution, but I’m not there to shove it in someone’s face. doesn’t want it or need it. If I’m not the person for them, I’m like, go find the person for you. Cause there’s millions of people out there that need my kind of help.

And I think that with all the agents and investors I coach, they’re smart. They know what they want, but there’s those obstacles. And they get across from someone and they’re like, I need a commission, or I need a deal, or I hope I get this. And people feel that fast. So it’s not just you’re mirroring them. You might be conveying something from lack or worry, or you need the money or the deal or whatever. And they feel that. And then there’s a disconnect.

Scott Bursey (13:37)
Absolutely. And let’s touch on this emotional buyer distress. A buyer is on the brink of closing, but gets cold feet over a minor inspection issue, ready to walk away based purely on emotion. How can a pro use language to bypass that emotional state and anchor them back to the original positive vision of home ownership?

Cappi Pidwell (13:47)
Yeah.

Yeah, that is a very good question because it’s very normal. It’s probably one of the biggest emotional purchases for a buyer or a seller when they’re going through a transaction. So it’s very common for people to get cold feet, to get nervous. And that is really a top performer’s job. You really end up being that person’s coach. You end up being their therapist, if you will, right? To remind them of the initial goal.

right when we first talked bringing them back to the original dream the original desire the original passion they had because fear is getting in their way fear is a killer man doubt and fear just really trump people right so it’s bringing them back to okay right now it feels scary and that’s understandable always honor where people are it’s very understandable you’re getting cold feet it’s very scary right now this is normal most buyers feel just like you

My job is to hold your hand through this journey to take you back to the original thing you told me you wanted which was the house on the hill or whatever they wanted right and Reminding them that you’re the person that takes them on the journey to get the goal Because I do the same thing clients pay me money and they get scared and I tell them okay We’re gonna do this I start making them subconscious sessions some of that resistance or those old beliefs come up and I’m like, okay, it’s normal

Scott Bursey (15:16)
Sure.

Cappi Pidwell (15:29)
This is part of the journey you’re on with me and my job is to help you get beyond that limiting belief or that block or that obstacle so that you have the dream. It’s the exact same thing.

Scott Bursey (15:38)
Absolutely, and this is a big one. Handling rejection. A pro loses a massive deal after weeks of work. Pappy. The frustration and disappointment are crushing their confidence for the next opportunity. What is the NLP secret to instantly dissolving that negative energy and stepping back into the game with a clean slate?

Cappi Pidwell (16:43)
That’s awesome. And I wouldn’t say it’s just an NLP secret. It’s an emotional ⁓ way of looking at your business. here’s how I, and this is just a cappy version. I’m not saying I have all the answers, but this is what I’ve learned in 30 years and coaching thousands and thousands of people.

we are going to get some really big wins and we are going to have those disappointments. They’re part of being in this career. And when you can get over that faster emotionally and not drag it around with you. Let me give you for instance, I was coaching a lady the other day and she’s telling me a story that she lost this big deal, kind of what you’re talking about. She was very distressed and emotionally speaking to her in my head, I’m thinking, this just happened.

And I said to her, Cindy, when did this happen? Like three years ago.

years. She’s walking around with that brain drain with that experience paralyzing her future capacity so she thinks it’s kind of a subconscious excuse but she’s just letting it play on a loop over and over over over over telling herself and I’m not saying this happens to everybody but I promise you what does happen to people they might do that loop for a month

they might do it when they walk into their next appointment they might talk about the past like it happened yesterday because they’re emotionally still connected to that loss who cares it’s done.

I I think I always tell people it’s like what you think and do today produces your tomorrow. So give yourself that permission to be disappointed. I get disappointed. I mean, I’m not sitting over here saying my life’s perfect, right? But how long am I going to spend in the energy of feeling disappointed or let down? Because here’s the reality. There’s something else coming next. That’s part of being an entrepreneur.

And if I’m sitting in the frequency of loss and disappointment, and then I go on an appointment, I’m going to carry that. Like I said earlier, people are going to feel that. So I use a lot of processing. I won’t get into the terms of it all, but I can literally take somebody and walk them through a 10 minute thing and get rid of a thought, a feeling, an emotion so fast that they go, I feel like you cleaned my brain out with a wipey. And that’s why this is so powerful, because who you are is what people purchase. And I don’t care what you’re selling.

I don’t care who you’re talking to, they ultimately purchase you. And when you’re walking around with, okay, it’s a new day, it’s a new way, that’s why I love hypnotherapy so much, it’s all the power of suggestion that you wake up to and all of a sudden you’re focusing on very different events because, I won’t curse on here, but I don’t know if you ever saw that bumper sticker many years ago and it said S-H-I-T happens, and it does. Sometimes it does. But are we gonna stay there? Are we gonna stay stuck in the past? Are we gonna keep creating the future?

out of what happened? No. Every day is a new way to keep creating and then more opportunities open up to you. So it’s okay to be disappointed, it’s okay to be bummed. Happens to all of us but don’t stay stuck there.

Scott Bursey (19:42)
And speaking of opportunities, what are some of the opportunities now as you see it?

Cappi Pidwell (19:50)
my gosh, I think there’s so many opportunities everywhere. I see them everywhere every day. ⁓ As we mentioned earlier, we’ve got technology today that we can go global on, right? We can be in front of millions of people now globally every single day watching us or connecting to us through these different platforms, TikTok and YouTube. mean, you name it, there’s lots of them. So I think there’s opportunity everywhere. I think that right now and where we are in the world, there’s, you know, different challenges, but people are very fearful right now.

So if a professional has a solution to get a person out of a problem, I think now more than ever people need people. We have AI, we have technology, we have all these great opportunities, but underneath all that, Scott, people really need people to help them.

Scott Bursey (20:36)
And what’s a couple key takeaways you’d like our listeners to know today, Cappi?

Cappi Pidwell (20:43)
That is a very good question. always try to simplify this because we’re very uneducated about our own mindset. We hear things like, we’re powerful. You know, you can do it. You know, focus on what you want. We hear these little isms or motivational quotes, but the reality is people are very uneducated on how the subconscious mind works. It holds all your decision-making tools, all your beliefs, all your emotions. And when we’re only using the conscious mind, which is five to 10 % of the

by the way.

The subconscious is 90 % of your mindset. So I have, I can share maybe in your notes or what have you, but I have a free subconscious session on my YouTube channel. I have a free daily mindset tip sheet on my website. I try to provide people with some of the basic free resources so they can start. Some people are more advanced and they’re like, I want to hire you. And then we can move into the NLP and the hypnotherapy. You know, I do all that stuff. So I have everything from a book on Amazon to a free tip sheet, to free YouTube stuff.

the way into high-level coaching.

Scott Bursey (21:47)
Awesome.

Okay, Cappi, this is the deep dive, the pro secret our listeners came here for. If you could give every real estate pro just one single actionable trigger word or embedded command from your entire NLP toolkit, one that they can use in every single conversation to increase conversations and conversions, what is that secret word and how should they use it?

Cappi Pidwell (22:14)
I would say before they use the word, take a deep breath. Center yourself. And then think, I always say, be clear. Deliver clarity for people. Don’t be rambling on and trying to sell something. Just be clear. So oftentimes, if we just take a deep breath and we get grounded in our body because we live in our head but we really have this wholeness of us, take a deep breath.

Think of that clarity. And then what are you coming from? Come from clarity with people. Ask people good questions. Connect with them. Help them find a solution to their problem. It’s not about just selling your stuff, your goods. It’s coming from a place of there’s so much value and who is going to be the right fit for me. And when you help a person like that, not only do they start sending you clients, I get a ton of referrals in my business because people work with me and they know my deliverable and they know what they get. And they go, you

to meet this lady. Right? So I’m not there to push somebody. So I just think really clarity. Take in a deep breath. Don’t like, don’t ramble and don’t get all stressed and don’t pour that energy onto other people. Be clear.

Scott Bursey (23:22)
Absolutely, Cappi, this has been pure gold. The idea that we can literally reprogram ourselves for success is the ultimate competitive advantage.

Cappi Pidwell (23:36)
It really is, and I will tell you, I think it’s the biggest missing piece in most sales strategies because everyone’s talking about the how-to and outside of you. And I’m telling you, you are your best asset. You are your best person to invest in to get the outcomes and then help share your genius and your tools and your solutions with other people. Because let me tell you, most people have no idea how to master their mindset. And there’s a very specific recipe to get there.

Scott Bursey (24:04)
For those that want to follow your journey or jump on a project with you or get mentorship, what’s the best go-to platform to connect?

Cappi Pidwell (24:14)
Yeah, thank you. My website is my name. It’s cappipidwell.com. And on there, people can book a free 30 minute consultation call with me. If they’re serious about coaching, it’ll send them a form. They fill it out. We meet on Zoom. And then I have a group program or a one-on-one. And then I have programs on there where I say people can buy me in a box. have everything from $97 to, you know, there’s lots of options on there. And then go grab my free mindset tips. And I tell people, grab it and print it out.

on your phone because you won’t use it, put it next to your bed because what you focus on today produces your tomorrow. So I try to give people tools and resources that they can master their mindset but it is work. There is a process to it. So book a call, go grab my free tip sheet and yeah I’d love to see someone on the other side.

Scott Bursey (25:03)
Happy this has been an absolute master class. Thank you so much for joining us today

Cappi Pidwell (25:11)
Thank you for having me, I really appreciate it.

Scott Bursey (25:13)
And

to our listeners, we appreciate each and every one of you. If you got massive fuel from today’s episode, please hit subscribe. We’ve got more exceptional guests just like Cappi in the near future. Until next time, keep your standards high and your vision clear. We’ll see you on the next episode, everyone.